Ron's Commentary

I’ve been trying to get my mind around the whole Tiger Woods fiasco and I think I’ve got it now. Tiger is actually human. He puts his pants on one leg at a time, he bleeds, he curses and he makes mistakes. Big mistakes! In all my years in sports, I can only think of a handful of athletes who were sports icons, bigger than life and who I considered above human and moral frailty. Jack Nicklaus, Arthur Ashe, Billie Jean King, Scott Hamilton and Coach K are on my limited list. That’s not to say they didn’t make mistakes, but they certainly didn’t make stupid, preventable moral mistakes. Tiger’s current dilemma is self-inflicted, but it’s partly not his fault.

Through hard work and success Tiger has become larger than life. He has an appealing childhood life story. He’s a minority. He’s the best golfer ever in one of the few sports dominated by white athletes. He’s rich and famous. And, until now, he hasn’t offended anyone with his personal life choices. Having said that, being perfect is not an easy thing to be or maintain when you’re constantly visible and under scrutiny. I’m surprised Tiger lasted this long without a “trip” morally or socially. Unlike Nicklaus, Ashe, King and others I mentioned, Woods lives in a different world today then they did. He lives in a 24/7/365 media world where anyone with a cell phone can video capture a famous person’s miss-step. A world where the media is more interested in the personal mistakes an athlete makes rather than their athletic performance. A world where we like to build up our heroes, only to tear them down when they make a mistake. A world where impression is more important than substance.

Most of us aren’t catapulted from zero to hundred in notoriety like Tiger has been. Tiger hasn’t had a normal life or the luxury to make mistakes along the way, learn from those mistakes and not have it splashed across the media. In essence, he hasn’t had the chance to learn life’s lessons the way you and I have. Also, he plays a sport whose success or failure is determined solely by his effort alone. To be successful and to win he has to have talent, single mindedness and an ego. He makes the right decisions in golf, but is stunted when it comes to commonsense. When you’ve been primarily exposed to one thing in life, as Tiger has, you usually make mistakes in the areas you have little or no experience in.

It doesn’t surprise me that Woods had affairs. Once he achieved golf greatness, as he got older he then allowed himself to entertain the development and interest in personal things he didn’t have a chance to explore or learn about when he was younger. It’s like getting married when you’re young. Age isn’t the deciding factor for success, experience and maturity is. Tiger had neither when he decided to have affairs. In golf, Tiger may be single minded, determined and a cold hearted killer, but in life and love he was Bambi and clueless.

The biggest mistake Woods made, besides having the affairs in the first place, is having them with someone who didn’t have as much to lose as he did if the affair was ever revealed. A 21-year old cocktail waitress is not a smart decision. The bottom line is his affair with her or the others like her isn’t love and has no chance of developing into an honest, open relationship. It’s strictly about sex, which is something that won’t ruin your life or reputation if you’re single.

Now all of this is in no way an excuse for what Tiger did. Obviously he was wrong, but before we condemn him, let’s put his actions into proper perspective. In his adult, developing years he focused on golf and had no chance or opportunity to experience dating relationships in a normal, less scrutinized way. There was no balance between developing his successful golf game and developing a successful relationship game. Because of that he made better golf club choices than he made personal relationship choices. Maturity in golf has led him to great success and happiness. Immaturity in what he wants in his personal life and in a relationship has led him to chaos.

So what does Tiger do next to get his life and career back on track? First, he has to decide what personally makes him happy and whether marriage is part of that personal happiness. If the answer is yes, then he has to sit down with his wife and explain to her why he did what he did, what he’s learned from it and what he wants to do to rebuild her trust and to make it work for both of them. The key to this working out for Tiger and his family is his ability to be honest with himself, honest with his family and applying the same single mindedness he applies to golf to developing a winning personal life. Tiger doesn’t worry about what others think and say about his golf, he now has to move forward not worrying about what others say about his personal life. If he does all this, he’ll have the same winning and successful life off the golf course as he does on it.

I’m Ron Barr.