A New Comedy Show: Tiger At The Sex Clinic
By RON BARR
If the reports are correct, and they seem to be, Tiger Woods is squirreled away at a sex clinic in Mississippi. Just the sound of those words has every comedy writer and comedian rushing to their computers to knock out a monologue or a new network comedy show proposal. The possibilities and jokes are endless.
Fox is rushing to production the late night show, “Tiger, Free Swinger.” Watch as Tiger Woods pulls his favorite club, not from his golf bag but from his pants. You’ll laugh when you see Tiger’s version of a “hole in one.” “Tiger, Free Swinger” will have a sensitive side as wives cry as they hear Tiger say, “Honey, I’m going out to play, I’ve got a foursome.” And, it shouldn’t be too hard to find a sponsor for the show. Denny’s could have a “Tiger Grand Slam” breakfast. It includes coffee, juice, a hostess and a waitress, hot off the griddle. And, wait til you see the shower scenes in the clubhouse.
I’m also trying to picture Tiger’s group encounter sessions at this sex clinic, in Mississippi. There’s a psychologist, Tiger and Tiger’s fellow sex freaks. Of course every session begins with first name introductions. “Hi, I’m Tiger and I’m a sex addict. Also, I’m the holder of 14 major golf championships, my own private jet, yacht and more houses than I can remember.” Then there’s Billy Bob. “Hi, I’m Billy Bob and I’m a sex addict. I live on a farm and I’m very close to my animals. God I miss them.” Candy is the only woman in the group. “Hi, I’m Candy and I’m a sex addict. That’s my brother Trojan over there. We’re married.” At this point, Tiger probably thinks, what the hell am I doing here, I’m normal compared to these freaks.
Since Tiger had limited sexual experiences growing up due to him spending most of his time honing his golf skills, my great fear is his group encounter sessions at this sex clinic, in Mississippi, will only titillate him and leave him wanting more. “Holy cow, I didn’t know you could do that?” But, there could be a positive side too. Look at all the new story lines for season two of “Tiger, Free Swinger.”
I’m Ron Barr.
Ron Barr is an Emmy award winning writer and the host of the nationally and internationally syndicated sports talk show, Sports Byline USA.
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