Ron's Commentary

BY RON BARR

That of course is the title of author John Gray’s best selling book.  Gray has been a guest on Sports Byline several times.  You’re probably thinking, “Why is a best selling author of relationship books on a sports talk show?”  I think the battle of the sexes, especially when it comes to sports is compelling and interesting sports talk.  Men and women disagree on most things and when it comes to a male-female sports discussion, testosterone is the drug of choice for men in such discussions.  Ugh, me man, you woman.  I know, you don’t.

As Gray says in his book, men want to hibernate in their caves, while women want to make a connection.  The example Gray used in our discussion is that men will come home from work, plop down on the sofa and watch their sports.  While women will come up to them and want to make a connection by saying, “Honey, how was your day and tell me about it.”  Ugh, me man, no want to talk.  Just watch sports. 

I know a couple whose husband is a sports fanatic.  He’s an Oakland Raider fan, but he’ll watch anything that moves and has scoring in it.  When he goes to his cave (sofa), he doesn’t want to be bothered when watching his beloved sports.  The house could be burning down and all he would do as he watches the game, and as his wife tells him flames are licking at the walls, is grunt an acknowledgement and continue watching.  The great equalizer usually in this sports battle of the sexes is sex.  When a man has the chance to “score” he usually jumps at the chance.  With that in mind, my friend’s wife tells me that she could sit on top of the TV completely nude and her husband would say, “Honey would you move your legs and change the channel.”  She tells me there used to be an off-season for sports and she had a fighting chance of “scoring” with her husband.  Now, she makes sure she has a stock of triple “A” batteries in the house.  “Thank God for the Everyready Bunny,” she says.

The other misfit sports adventure men and women have is trying to play the same sport, especially of they’re married.  Have you ever played golf or tennis with your significant other, or watched other couples who’ve tried.  It just ain’t happen.  This couple friend I’ve been talking about used the play tennis together.  The operative words are “used to.”  Now, they try to play golf together.  The operative words are “try to.”  Men are only good for keeping their blood pressure down and their temper in check for a limited amount of time when playing husband-wife mixed doubles.  The first sign an explosion is forthcoming is the audible, heavy male sigh after the wife blows a perceived easy shot.  Next is the male dirty look, followed by the muttered, “You’ve got to be kidding me.”  Then after another perceived wife mistake, there’s the male dropped racket with a hand slap to his forehead.  All the time the wife has the “what’s the big deal it’s only a game” look on her face.  That of course only brings the husband to a near eruption point.  The full male explosion comes when the man double faults on match point and the wife giggles and smiles.  The couple leaves the court with him swearing never to play with her again, and her thinking to herself, “He wasn’t an a**hole when we played when we were dating.”

As to golf, word has gotten around that if you play with them, be prepared to hear a lot of cursing from the husband and to see a possible new world record set in club tossing.  My couple friends husband gives truth to noted golf author Dan Jenkins statement that golf is “a good walk gone bad.”

I guess the only way men and women can enjoy sports together is to pick a somewhat benign sport, communicate with each other that they want to enjoy the shared experience and that no matter what, they’ll always love each other and keep things in perspective.  Nah, forget it, it’ll never happen. 
I’m Ron Barr.

Ron Barr is an Emmy award winning writer and the host of the nationally and internationally syndicated sports talk show, Sports Byline USA.