Watching the NFL games this weekend was both confusing and amusing. As I was flipping channels, I thought I had happened upon some high school football games. And pathetic high schools at that. They could not afford nice uniforms.

When I realized these were NFL teams wearing throwback uniforms, I had to laugh. What man, ripped with muscle and charged with testosterone, would wear a uniform with Dr. Seuss socks?

This throwback idea is ridiculous. Even the word throwback makes little sense. Uniforms are changed for good reason and the older versions belong in museums and trash heaps.

This concept only justifies to pack rats like my mom that they were right all along…save everything. Mom got so excited that the old uniforms were “back in style” that she was up in the attic trying to find the musty, moth-ridden things she has stashed away decades ago so she could gift them to one of us kids. I’m sure they were up there among the itchy wool bobby socks and television rabbit ears covered in tin foil.

The throwback uniforms are confusing. The Dallas Cowboys play the Kansas City Chiefs, who are wearing helmets with the state of Texas on them because they were once the Dallas Texans. By the way, isn’t that now the name of the Houston team?

After a couple hours of tailgating, fans go into the stands and have to focus extra hard on who’s on the field. This bewilderment could slow the sale of beer. And if it’s confusing to fans, imagine being the players. First, they have the humiliation of wearing a ridiculous uniform, then they have to focus extra hard on the field to find one another.

If the throwback idea is about nostalgia, there are some other components missing. Let’s throwback food prices and let the fans bring in their own drinks. Why not throwback the price of tickets? And if they decide to throwback the cheerleading costumes, I know where they can get some wool bobby socks.