View from the Couch

BY SCREAMIN LEEMAN

Looks like the Dog Days of May are here for the Giants.  

The hitting is anemic, the pitching manic, and they haven't beat the Padres in five tries.  Are you kidding?

Sheesh, last week we were all high on the pitching, even on the way to the game tonight, I ran into a couple friends and we were all excited, talking about picking up a hitter later this summer to get us over the top...   A feared bat in the lineup to complement our fabulous pitching...   But guess what, folks:  It's gonna take more than that.  

We can't pull out a win against the Padres in five tries?   Say, this ain't exactly Koufax and Drysdale were facing here. 

This is starting to get boring already.

How many times can guys strike out looking?  

And how many double plays can we possibly hit into?  Seems like we're trying to set a new record.  

Oh, and I almost forgot:   How many bases on balls can we issue?  In Barry Zito's last outing he seemed to revert to his former self.   In his loss to San Diego,   he walked seven, and the relievers walked another five.   That's no way to win ball games.    He threw about a hundred pitches in five innings.  The first batter he faced needed 12 pitches before giving up a base hit, and it was downhill from there.   Three and two counts to nearly every batter, it was nibble, nibble, walk.   Nibble, nibble, base hit.   Then another three and two count, two or three fouls, and ball four.   Another three and two count, and a pop up.  

As Duane Kuiper said:  Torture.

Then the relievers came in and kept the pace going.   Ball one, ball two, foul one off, ball three.   Three more fouls, then ball four.   Pop out, then walk the bases loaded.  

Torture.

A double play to end the inning which went on for so long it was aggravating.   This is no way to play baseball.  Can anyone here throw strikes?  

I don't have any idea how we lost that game by only one run.  

Oh, and another thing:   I'm not sure, but I think there are some individual players with more home runs than the Giants have as a team.   I'm probably wrong about that, but would someone remind me when the last time was that they hit one?

You know, I was ready to place a bet on the Giants.  To win the National League West, or maybe the Pennant, or even stretch it to the World Series.   All high on the pitching, with Lincecum, Zito, Cain, and Sanchez of the no-hitter.    Then Zito went south (let's hope it was for only one game), Cain seems to have lost his way, and Jonathan Sanchez is still trying to find his.   Not to mention Wellemeyer, who has pitched ONE good game this year, and six absolute disasters.

You wanna talk relief pitching?   Don't mention the name 'Romo' ("He's our guy"...Bochy) to me, please.   "I throw strikes," he declares, "That's gonna happen...") Oh, you mean giving up two game winning home runs in a period of less than a week, both with 0 and 2 counts?  

Jeez, we could've kept Merkin Valdez if we wanted to see how far our opponents could hit the ball.

Well, it was fun while it lasted.   It was exciting to think we had a chance.  But we all have to come down to earth at some point, and face reality.

Here's a reminder:  In 2002, we had a great pitching staff, and we also had Barry Bonds and Jeff Kent.

We ain't got 'em this year, not even close.

It's beginning to look like a long season.