Frontpage Features

BY SCREAMIN' BILL LEEMAN

Well, we're not gonna have Bengie Molina to kick around any more.  

The Giants traded him to Texas, for a pitcher and a player-to-be-named.  The one-time leader of the clubhouse, the so-called power after the Barry Bonds regime, the clean-up hitter that had some folks snickering, "If he's the clean-up hitter, the Giants are really hurting."  The same Bengie Molina who has two other brothers who are also major league catchers, and what are the chances of that?

What do you think they say to each other as their teams are playing one another?  You know, when Bengie comes to bat, and brother Yadier is catching, or vice versa?  Probably something like, "Mom always liked you better than me..." 

I wrote a column about Bengie a couple years ago, mentioned being at a game where he had hit two home runs.  Not that big a deal, but these two home runs were in the same inning.  

A few weeks ago, someone at ESPN had made a joke video poking fun of Bengie's lack of speed on the base paths.   Put it up on You-Tube.  Bengie took great umbrage, told the world he was a professional athlete, and that he took pride in his job and he knew he was slow.  But it didn't warrant being made fun of in a video, and he was highly insulted.  

Well, that video became unavailable so quickly that I never even got a chance to see it.  

But I've had plenty of chances to see Bengie.  Now, as proud as he may be, and although he does command respect from those in the game, he cannot hide the distressing fact that he is carrying about 40 extra pounds of blubber around his middle, now can he?   And  I mean FAT.   You can see it bulging out of his catcher's gear, for gosh sakes.  Isn't he embarrassed?   I'm sorry, but if you are a professional athlete, especially a SLOW one, then wouldn't it behoove you to be in the best possible shape?    

Rather than take umbrage, he ought to take a break from the dinner table.

As good a guy as he seems to be, and all of the fond memories we have of him, it's fine with me that he's going to Texas.   Let him clog up their base paths for a while.

There are other fat guys on the Giants.   I don't want to mention any names, but does 'Panda' ring a bell?   He came in this year weighing about 20 more than last year.  

Shouldn't there be an obesity clause in their contract?   Like, you need to be in shape to play this game?   Hello?    

Panda is still pretty fast, but I've seen him falling all over himself fielding grounders and it is not pretty.   If he had lost 20 instead of gaining it, he'd be a better fielder, a faster runner, and probably a better hitter.   He needs to stop seeing Sara Lee and take up with Jenny Craig.

Doesn't really matter at this point, though.  As Leo Durocher once said, "The Giants is dead!"   They've finally found their level.   We were excited for a while, thought that pitching could take us somewhere.   But our pitching is faltering now, and with little or no offense, and not a feared hitter in the lineup, well, it's looking more and more like a fourth place finish.  

But wait, this just in!   The D-Backs just fired their manager and general manager!  They may flourish under new leadership and knock the Giants into the cellar!  

Could happen.

Oh, there have been some bright spots.   Barry Zito.  Who would have thought that he'd become our Ace?  Aubrey Huff has been a real treat.  Very professional and very relaxed.   Freddy Sanchez' glove work is a beautiful thing to behold.  And Andres Torres' exceptional play in the field, and even more so as a lead-off hitter has been phenomenal.   What a pleasure.

Oh, and by the way, as I write this, I see that Aaron Rowand is back in the lead-off position.   Well, yes.   I can see where that makes sense.   Barely hitting his weight, won't take a walk, won't steal a base.  Yeah, that works.

Bengie is gone, and so are the Giants.